Why is ‘Regret' Still So Taboo?
Here’s the truth nobody wants to say: Society treats it like a character flaw.
→ Read the full essay on PROVOKED
Editor’s Note: Off-Script—the why, what, and oh sh*t moments behind this article.
I’ve been thinking about regret a lot lately. Not because something blew up. Just because by midlife, you’ve lived long enough to know some of your decisions were shit.
Some regrets cut deep—failed relationships, careers you walked away from, the person you stayed with three years too long. Others sting in their own stupid way—like cutting your own bangs or thinking yoga after a Double Supreme from Taco Bell was genius.
But here’s the truth nobody wants to say: Society treats regret like a character flaw.
Something shameful to hide. Proof you didn’t manifest hard enough or learn your lessons fast enough.
Especially for women.
When writer Melissa Shultz pitched this, the first draft came in reflective. Thoughtful. Way too “lessons learned” for what this topic actually demands.
Because regret isn’t a meditation retreat.
It’s messy, loaded, and for women, admitting it feels like admitting we failed—which we’ve been trained to never, ever f*cking do.
So we pushed. Hard.
To move this past comfort and into the cultural WHY: Why is regret shaming—even ourselves—giving our power away? Why do we treat it like moral failure instead of being human? Why are women expected to spin every bad choice into a “growth opportunity” while men just get to shrug and move on?
The final piece doesn’t coddle. It interrogates.
It names the weight women carry when we’re not allowed to say “I wish I’d done that differently” without someone weaponizing toxic positivity or a bullshit Instagram quote about divine timing.
This is permission to name your regrets. Own them. Stop letting them rot in silence while you perform gratitude you don’t feel.
One face-palm moment at a time.